The following shall provide step-by-step instruction on overcoming a man addiction, as concluded by a small group of consultants following the determination that I am in need of a 12-step program.
TWELVE STEPS IN TWO NIGHTS
Phase/Night #1
STEP 1: Rise from one’s bar stool and proclaim for all friends (as well as anyone within a respectable radius) your name and your problem. For example, “My name is _____ _______ and I have a ___ _____ addiction.”
STEP 2: Should “he” call you to have you verify the size of his dick OR should any patron of said drinking establishment question you about his size, the correct answer is “T-I-N-Y”. Giggling with a large grin on your face when you answer is not convincing nor is it acceptable.
STEP 3: Utilize jukebox to listen to “Mr. Roboto”. Repeat as necessary.
STEP 4: Sit back, relax and listen to a sober friend narrate drunk moments from your past of which you have no recollection.
STEP 5: Engage in mindless conversation with random man at bar who has offered to purchase your drinks.
STEP 6: Breakfast at Louie’s. Hotdogs and hamburgers ARE acceptable breakfast foods when consumed at
Phase/Night#2
To be continued…
Ah well, we did come up with a few more steps but we never did reach 12.
Here are the notes from that "meeting":
7) Discuss plans for your poor college student benefit. Design poster complete w/sexy pic.
(consider the tent idea)
*Do we have a deep fried step?
How about a chocolate step? hmmm...
*is drive by fruiting something we are too old 4 now? Bob/Rob + the pineapple!!!
*Ring pops make me smile - then again I DO have an oral fixation!
*Engage in botany debates.
*Play successively more angry girl power songs 2 see how many Tom sings along to.
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