Survey 63

1. Song that always makes you sad?
Everything I Want - Vertical Horizon
Everything Changes - Staind

2. Last thing you bought?
Bagel with cream cheese

3. Last person you argued with?
idk

4. Do you put Butter before putting the peanut butter on?
NA

5. One of your stuffed animals' names as a kid?
Tiger :)

6. Did you ever own at one time a Barenaked Ladies Cd?
Yes and still do

7. Favorite day of the week?
it varies

8. Favorite Sundae topping?
Peanut butter sauce

9. Did you take Piano lessons?
No

10. Most frequent song played?
idk

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?
House, but it's the only show I really wanna watch.

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?
basketball

13. Date someone older or younger?
DEF younger

14. One place you could travel right now?
Nowhere. My car door is frozen open again.

15. Do you use umbrellas?
sometimes

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?
I might but prob not

17. Favorite Cheese?
ewe...I don't do cheese unless it's melted on something

18. The Smith's or the Cure?
the Cure

19. Do you prefer Blondes or Brunettes?
Brunettes

20. Best job you ever had?
Lechmere

21. did you go to your high school prom?
yes

22. perfect time to wake up?
10am

23. perfect time to go to bed?
2am

24. do you use your queen right away in chess? ..
I don't play chess often but I'd say no.

25. Ever been in a car accident?
haha...um, yea

26. closer to mom or dad...or neither?
I'm not terribly close with either honestly.

27. what age is this exciting life over for you?
I used to say 69 but now I'm inclined to say 72 or 73.
?something changed?

28. what decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?
a teen idk...but I have a thing for the roaring 20s

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?
my black 7-inch stripper shoes

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school? Yes, quite a few actually.

31. Were you in track and field?
Nope.

32. Were you ever in a school talent show?
Nope

33. Have you ever written in a library book?
no

34. Allergic to?
nothing but I have sensitivities to codeine and latex (yep that sucks)

35. Favorite fruit?
I love mangos and pineapples but they are such a bitch to cut up/eat. So I think I will go with the traditional apple on this one.

36. Have you watched sex and the city?
Yes. I am Samantha.

37. Baseball hat or toque?
huh?

38. Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap?
well, body wash

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?
OMG...ok, I'm not a freak bc I wet the brush first but people always think that is weird and if it's in this survey that means other people do it too. YEA!!!

40. Pen or pencil?
Pen, black ink only

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?
like $20 bucks on the slots...I don't care for gambling

42. Have you thrown up on a plane?
no

43. Have you thrown up in a car?
Nope

44. Have you thrown up at work?
Yes

45. Do you scream on roller coasters?
well I can't really go on them due to the neck injury

46. Who was your first prom date?
The first one I went to stag so...idk, the 2nd one was Tim.

47. Who was your first roommate?
Chris

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time? So Co...and I can't even smell it without gagging today.

49. What was your first job?
Lechmere

50. What was your first car?
Buick Skylark

51. When did you go to your first funeral?
I was probably about 12 yrs old.

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
NA

53. Who was your first grade teacher?
Ms. Witcher

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
Tuscan, Arizona

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Again, I would have NEVER tried/risked that with my mother. She was scary and possibly possessed by an evil entity during my youth.

56. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?
Juli and yes.

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent's house?
Apartment in Kenmore.

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
Nobody. (?) Typically I want to be left alone. But I might call Jen if I wanna go for a drink.

59. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? my Aunt Cindy and Uncle Gary

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Brush my teeth

61. What was the first concert you attended?
haha...Debbie Gibson

62. First tattoo or piercing?
My ears, then the belly button, then 3 tattoos

63. First celebrity crush?
LOL, omg...Eddie Furlong

Convenience Store Clerk - REAL job description

This one has been laying around for a while now, just waiting to be posted. It is perhaps the most hilarious thing I have ever written. However, you need to have previously worked in a convenience store in order to really appreciate it. AND, if you have...this is just a warning: you may possibly pee your pants laughing. Seriously, this is some good shit.

Ø Make customers your first priority putting them before secondary obligations such as ringing telephones, vendors or other tasks needing completion. Every effort should be made to wait on customers immediately.

Ø Greet each customer with a smile and hello as soon as they enter the store.

Ø Look each customer in the eye during their transaction.

Ø Handle all transactions with speed and accuracy.

Ø Learn how to make change fro $100 bill with no more than $75 in your drawer.

Ø Listen to the customers and provide feedback to the manger…typically about such whiney topics as the one missing lottery ticket from your inventory on a given day.

Ø Follow proper procedure for selling age restricted products. Be prepared to handle temper tantrums when you have to decline a sale because the customer appears to be about 20 years old but for some reason didn’t think they needed to carry ID.

Ø Be friendly, helpful, patient and polite when dealing with customers. Maintain a positive attitude at all times…even when they are screaming at you because they don’t know how to pump gas or because they mistakenly believe that you are personally responsible for the pre-pay policy that nearly every gas station in existence possesses.

Ø Thank all customers for their business.

Ø Be able to identify every make and model of every vehicle of every year so that when a customer throws money at you and says, “Twenty dollars on the Lexus GS350,” you will immediately know to which of the eight vehicles outside they are referring.

Ø In your spare time, drive around the neighborhood of your station. Do this until you can with certainty give directions to ANY street or location within a 20 mile radius. NOTE: It may just be easier to have a GPS device permanently embedded in your brain.

Ø Be knowledgeable about all products, services and promotions being offered in the store. Point out specials or promotions that will provide value to customers.

Ø Familiarize yourself with all lotto/lottery games. Know how to fill out playing cards, the different ways to play numbers and how each game wins and pays out. Understand how to read and play each and every scratch-off ticket. Try to memorize which tickets customers have won on through-out the day, how much they won and if possible the number of their ticket. It is also helpful to know which tickets are “good ones” to play.

Ø Memorize the prices of EVERY product in the store so that when a customer holds up an item from across the store and yells, “how much is this,” you can answer promptly and correctly which they can then verify by looking at the price tag right in front of them.

Ø As soon as possible you should personally sample EVERY product in the store so that you may confidently answer questions like, “is this good” and “do these really work?”

Ø Complete your general work list and additional assigned tasks.

Ø Consistently maintain the inside and outside of your store to ensure a clean, safe and positive environment for all customers and team members.

Ø Especially be absolutely certain that your property is free of weeds so that when the store is shown on the news because of a robbery, the landscape at least looks nice.

A rant about men that cheat & want me to assist.

When I was nine years old my father left his family. He had been cheating on my mother with this trashy whore named Marie. Now why my parent’s marriage didn’t work I will not debate. They were young and honestly, knowing their two personalities, young and stupid is the only excuse for the two of them having anything to do with each other in the first place. But regardless, I hated that whore. She knew my father was married and worse, she knew that two young children were involved.

I still hate that whore. I used to have this fantasy where as adults, my sister and I run into her someplace, we take her into the ladies room, lock the door, and beat the living shit out of her, leaving her a bloody broken mess on the floor. Years later she had the audacity to show up at my grandfather’s funeral looking for my father. It’s probably best that I didn’t see her. I might have actually killed her. I mean this is the class this bitch had; showing up and looking for an ex-fuck at his father’s funeral. People like her should really be shot and prevented from breeding.

But anyhow, that’s the back-story to my feature discussion.

Over time I have met a lot of people who say that they would never cheat on a partner or spouse and yet they feel it is perfectly OK to play the other-man or other-woman. They rationalize this by pointing out that they are not the one cheating. OK. You are not the one killing a guy if someone else shot him but if you lent that guy your gun knowing what he was going to do with it, well you are implicated in the crime. At the very least you are guilty of aiding and abetting if not conspiracy. It takes 2 to tango.

The other argument I love is this one; from the guy who is cheating and does not understand why I will not fuck another woman’s man. They will try to debate with me, “Well if you are not looking for a serious relationship then why not?” I am so sick of these men that I swear I am one away from converting to lesbianism. No, I am not looking for a serious relationship but that does not mean that I lack ethics. This does not mean that I will fuck anyone regardless of their status. And quite frankly, I am far from desperate. Even if I were not morally opposed to this sort of thing the fact of the matter is there is no shortage of men that would be willing to do me if I so chose. I do not need to lower myself to screwing another woman’s man. I wouldn’t want it done to me and I would never do it to someone else.

Finally, another fact of the matter is that even the hottest guy in the entire world becomes extremely unattractive at the point where I learn he is looking to cheat on someone. Cheating requires deception, lies and dishonesty. And call me crazy but these qualities are seriously a turn-off. I mean, when I learn that a guy has a girl but that he'd like to cheat on her with me, well that's about as sexy as saying he hasn't showered since 1993. Either way, I'm far from interested in touching him at that point.

OH…lmao, I almost forgot this line, “Hey, but I was honest with you”. LMAO! What a fuckin’ winner huh? I don’t even know what to say to that it’s so stupid. But I think I lose an IQ point every time I have to hear it.

Getting & Staying in shape.

So I went to the gym today…an actual gym and I actually worked out. Now don’t get me wrong, I work out at home a little and I do the walking but it had been a few years since I was in an actual gym (with the exception of one visit about a year ago).

I hate gyms. I really do. Gyms have this smell of plastic and rubber that gives me a headache after a while. Of course you look like crap I mean, who does their makeup and hair to go workout? And then there is the sweaty, wearing clothes I don’t’ care about factor. It’s not a sexy time for me. And then I feel like everyone is watching my pathetic self struggle to lift 20 pounds on a weight machine. It’s just not fun.

I’ve lost 35 pounds over the past year and many people ask me how I did it. Well, the biggest thing was increased water consumption. Drink water with everything and get filled up faster. Not to mention hydrating the body is always a good thing. Second, I went from sitting my ass at a desk job for 40 hours a week to walking if not running around the university campus (plus I walk evenings). And third, I read labels on EVERYTHING! For example, if canned spinach has 80 calories per serving and frozen spinach has 40 calories per serving…well it’s not rocket science which one I am going to buy. This type of awareness helps me make better dietary choices.

Blah, blah, blah…but really, people ask all the time. Now, back to my story…I lost 35 pounds without doing anything overly drastic but I’ve been stagnant since then. I know that what is left is more-so an issue of toning up. I’d like to lose 5-10 more pounds but nothing more than that because I like curves and the stick-girl thing really isn’t for me. But toning up meant some more serious exercise. Blah. Even free access and use of the university gym which was abundant with hot young men, didn’t quite motivate me enough.

So I tricked myself. I signed up for a fitness class which is really nothing more than 40 minutes of obligatory working out in the gym. Now I have to go. See, I’d slack off otherwise but now it’s a “class” with an attendance policy. My first day was today.

Um…so it’s been a while. I spent 10 minutes on a bike after stretching out and doing some yoga to warm up. Then I circled the weight machines looking for old familiar friends. I found three. Each one left me thinking, “No, that couldn’t have been the one I liked”. But really, they all were. I am just that shot and out of shape. I couldn’t manage any more than 10 reps at 20 pounds on any of them. Sad. Yes, I know.

But here’s the real point of my story…

I liked the first job I had, I like my present job. Everything in between has pretty much sucked ass royally. So, when I’d be out shopping I’d utilize this little exercise to keep my spending in check. If I was (for example) earning $10 per hour and a shirt cost $20, I would ask myself, “Is this shirt worth 2 hours at my job?” Nine times out of ten I would put the item back.

So I was on the bike today which is the less of all the cardio-evils. Upon finishing the ten minutes the machine tells you how “far” you’ve traveled and how many calories you have burned. In ten minutes I traveled 4.6 miles and burned 60 calories. So let’s do the math. A McDonald’s double cheeseburger has 440 calories. Now I hardly ever eat fast food but when I do, that is my most likely poison. That’s equivalent to approximately 73 minutes of cardio. Is that double cheeseburger worth over an hour of cardio at the gym? I think not. So I’m going to apply this knowledge to eating as I once applied my hourly wage at shitty jobs to shopping. That’s the plan.

So today is Wednesday, January 16^th 2008.

Let’s see what I can accomplish by summer.